3 weeks till d-day

I'm trying to figure out how to work this blog thing on my iPad. I swear I'm the most technological stunted person I know.

The picture is from March 31, 2012. The day of my Connecticut baby shower. My belly is a lot bigger now but I don't have an up to date picture. I will work on that.

Ohhhh, things are. Changin

Sooo, Friay the 23rd of December was my last day as a working woman. Ya life will now consist of me prepairing for my new little baby. I still can't believe Im pregnant. It's so weird to think that there is something growing inside me. I'll tell you one thing though. This being pregnant isnt my most favorite thing ever. I have had a really hard time with the emotional roller coaster. I literally can not stop myself half the time from being pissed and being mean, or crying and not wanting to get out of my bed. Getting sick actually got worse when I hit the second trimester which I am now in. BUT we find out what the baby is this Friday. I am so excited. I think its a boy. In fact I'm so sure it's a boy that if it ends up being a girl (which I wont be sad about) I will have a hard time ever trusting my gut and my intuition. I just want my little buddy to be happy and healthy. I have a very tricky road a head of me and I realize it more day by day that if I want this child to grow up with the gospel then it is up to nobody but myself... I am scared to death but I have faith I can do it.

Who here among us still believes in choice?

Ha ha, I'm horrible at this blog thing.  Lucky for me no one reads it.  SOOOOOOOOO fun.   I'm 14 1/2 weeks pregnant which is totally so far almost the same as not being pregnant.  Except for random fits of dry heaval and constant all day every day exhaustion... oh and the desire to say whatever is on my mind whenever I feel like it ESPECIALLY when someone or something is pissing me off... oh, and the decision my body has made to litterally break out everywhere, other than that being pregnant so far is the same as not being pregnant.  I haven't gained any weight and I hardly show... I just mostly look like I have a fatty pooch. That is pretty much how I looked before I was pregnant too so no big changes yet.  Dave is really excited.

I am freaking out a little that I married someone of a different faith, I am starting to realize what it means for my child and my little family to not have a preisthood holder in the family and the fact that we won't be sealed together brings me to tears every time I allow myself to think about it.  I just keep going though.  Having faith in the Lord is the only thing I can do besides trying to be the best example to Dave that I possibly can.  I am so scared.

I who have everything.

I started feeling really bad after Irene hit and I was upset that I wanted to have my power go out. People all over the place are screwed and don't have power. People lost their lives, their homes and other things.  I'm just sitting there complaining that I have to go to work.  Man I suck.

I heard you're coming back to life just for the 4th

Its nice that I don't belong anywhere.  I don't belong in Connecticut and I don't belong in Utah.

Its like out in Connectcut I don't feel like I fit in because I don't act the same as the people I'm around, I don't have the same attitude as the people I'm around.  I don't think the same, I just don't fit in. 

In Utah,  everyone has their lives already. There is no room for an Emily anywhere.  Its like at the end of the day where ever I am it doesn't matter because I don't fit in and whoever I'm around I still end up feeling alone.

I dislike my life

To direct or not to direct.

So, I'm up for promotion at work.  I would take over as director of the Darien location.  I LOVE my job soooo much BUT I will not get to take any days off for the rest of 2011. I think I can do it.  Also, I tried really hard not to like Burno Mars, but I do and I'm sorry if that makes you mad. It's really good though.... humm, I wonder what I'm doing with my life...

here is a little picture for you.